Kevin N. Murphy

Talk about fantastic road trip. That was great. Went to Atlanta GA to see Wolf Parade at the Variety Playhouse.

So what’s new? Few things.

Work: Just decided to write a business app in Plone for better integration with the Plone powered intranet site. This is a wise move, I’d personally of loved to keep writing it in Django, but am too honest of a guy to be that selfish. This is better for the company.

Launching about two new distributor sites in the next few months. That means training those teams and lots of hand holding. Actually might be three sites, but I’m unsure about one of them. That team has got a lot more fancy stuff outside of the templates I built and I can’t say how long it will take for them to work it all out. Hopefully they’ll keep hammering away though, they’ve been making decent progress. Nice thing about ExpressionEngine is that it’s pretty easy to learn compared to similar systems. Getting people to learn good html & css isn’t so easy but hey, do what ya can.

-end work

Man I must say it’s great to have real friends. When the chips are down, who’s there? Seriously, if you bail out on people that you said you’d be there for, you suck. Don’t do it.

In other news, my brother, Brian, hung himself and died last week. That was unexpected. Poor dude, was a pretty awesome guy before he caught the insane.

People a pretty crazy sometimes. Maybe not for everyone, but I’ve known and dealt with a lot of certifieably insane people. I’ve known some that could go either way too, it sucks when they choose fantasy over reality.

I could go either way myself, to be honest. There are those moments you know, well maybe you don’t, but I do. I made up my mind on that one a long time ago though, I’m pulling through. Even the worst of it. To me giving up is the same as death, so I’ll give up when I’m dead. So until then, do your worst, I’ll do mine.

Oh, and don’t be a liar, for goodness sake, just admit to being a scoundrel if that’s what you are, at least own up to it. You aren’t fooling anyone. Well, maybe youself, but I don’t believe even you are that dumb. Have a spine, be a human.

and I could take another hit for you
and I could take away your trips from you
and I could take away the salt from your eyes
and take away the spitting salt in you
and I could give you my apologies
by handing over my neologies
and I could take away the shaking knees
and I could give you all the olive trees
oh look at the trees and look at my face and look at a place far away from here

Give me your eyes
I need sunshine
Give me your eyes
I need sunshine
Your blood
Your bones
Your voice

For a little bit now I had forgotten some guiding viewpoints I previously had a very strong grip on.

I’ve listen to a few extremely effective explanations of how to handle the negative thoughts that face everyone. It’s so simple. Not easy, but simple.

I was looking at some old pictures from 2000 a friend of mine posted to Flickr and I was reminded how rich my past is with awesome people. And how rich the present is. I usually scoff at gurus and their positive attitude, because I’m fairly cynical for humors sake. However, I am genuinely happy. It’s totally up to me.

It’s pretty easy to look at stuff you have no control over and become frustrated with it. Instead of doing that I’ve decided I’m going to love that stuff. So my relationship failed, big deal, I’m better off. That’s the truth. It’s awesome actually. Sure at first it’s shockingly not what the goal was. But once the dust settles and I look back at the time I spent, and the way I conducted myself, the way I set priorities, the way I followed through and showed up even when it wasn’t fair and when it wasn’t sane or rational to do that, how I showed up at times I knew other people wouldn’t of, What do I have to feel bad about? Nothing. I kept my word. I’m not the liar, I’m not the one who gave up, I’m not the quitter. And that is awesome to have lived that, rather than just say I can.

Once I realized this, it just gets better every day. Sure there are always things you don’t expect in life. I didn’t expect to be alive at my age. But I am and that’s great and I’m gonna help people and do awesome stuff.

With jaded eyes and features, you think I really care? You better think about it baby, baby.